


The Patient

by trade_chat



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Australian Bill Cipher, Dipper in Booty Shorts, German Bill Cipher, Human Bill Cipher, I apologise, M/M, Multilingual Dipper Pines, Older Dipper Pines, Sad Bill Cipher, Vampire Bill Cipher, my german is bad, not much sense to be made, tool lyrics, unfinished work
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-26
Updated: 2017-04-28
Packaged: 2018-10-24 02:47:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10732569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trade_chat/pseuds/trade_chat
Summary: these are random works I have that may or may not be finished, I may edit these chapters to finish the unfinished, if I like the idea.correct any spelling mistakes and incorrect germankeep an eye out for Tool reference!





	1. Australian Bill

**Author's Note:**

> expect bill to call dip a pissant sometime soon

"G'day mates." Bill greeted as he waltzed into class and took a seat at an empty desk, internally cringing as he said that. He had just disrupted the class but he couldn't give less of a shit.

 

The teacher glared at him. "You must be," she paused to check the register, luckily for him they were in the middle of roll call, "Bill Cipher. Welcome to Gravity Falls High School, and all that. I don't know what school's like in Australia but stay in your seat please."

 

The blonde nodded and gave her a small, "Will do," before tuning out whatever the teacher began to stay as he examined the students around him, most of which were staring at and talking about him. He grinned, glad to have already become a nuisance to an entire class already.

 

Finally, his gaze fell on a brunette to the left of him, his nose buried in a book. He wore a blue and white hat with a pine tree on it, a navy blue hoodie with a red shirt underneath and.. Were those booty shorts? Ill wasn't about to lie an say they didn't look good on him. Because they did. So good, in fact, that Bill had decided to rethink his sexuality, all while staring at the bookworm.

 

Said bookworm glanced over at the Australian, probably confused and slightly creeped out. 'Why is this totally hot guy staring at me?' was probably one of the thoughts that was going through the kid's head.

 

Bill took this as a sign that he should talk to the brunette and maybe introduce himself a little better, with the added stereotypes.

 

He held his hand out toward the brunette, same shit-eating-grin on his face. "Name's Bill, and you are?" _Shit, that isn't an aussie thing to say._ "I mean, uh, 'ow's it goin' mate?"

 

The brunette scoffed and shook his head. "The first one was fine. I'm Dipper." Dipper stared at the blonde's hand, as if deciding whether or not to shake it, but eventually gave in and shook it.

 

"Dippa? Ya gotta be joshin' me. That can't be your real name."

 

"It's Dipp-er." he groaned. "And it's not."

 

"Then," he dragged on, "what is it?"

 

The brunette just offered an irritated smile and went back to his novel. A mystery one, by the looks of it.

 

"Well Dippa's a daft name, I'm calling you Pine Tree."

 

This made Dipper drop his book and glare at him. "That's even worse!" He yelled, earning him a "Shh" from the teacher.

 

The Australian shrugged, his grin as present as ever. "Nah, cause I said it."

 

He sighed, clearly irritated by the blonde. "Your logic is insanely flawed."

 

This earned a chuckle from Bill. "You bet your sweet ass it is."


	2. ja, das ist gut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> unfinished german! bill thing
> 
> not gonna re-read it or anything to see if it's good or not

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is certainly longer than the last one  
> also hOLy fUckSicles kudOS??
> 
> I know it's only four but oh mAN none of this is good enough for anything tbh I don't know why you're putting yourself through this

Dipper had been reading a book while in class when the new kid arrived. He didn't pay too much attention to him, until he spoke, that is. The teacher had asked the blonde a question about where he was from and what school he had attended before this one.

 

"Deutschland." The newcomer simply replied. He had blonde and black hair, which made Dipper think that he must dye it, freckles that were scattered along his face and down the back of his neck, bright blue eyes, quite a few piercings on both ears and an insanely attractive accent. The brunette chalked it up to his accent as German accents could make even the creepiest lines sexy. He was wearing a yellow sweater vest with an eye sewn to the waist of it, a white dress shirt underneath with the sleeves rolled up to just above his elbows, black skinny jeans and combat boots. A strange appearance to say the least.

 

Most of the class were either looking at him with confused looks or looks that said they were in love, mostly confused. The blonde returned the confused look to the class.

 

Dipper sighed and felt like he had to translate for the blonde. "Germany. He's from Germany."

 

The blonde smiled, "Ah ja! Danke!" He quickly thanked the brunette.

 

Dipper could feel eyes on him, whether it was from the new kid, the class or both, he didn't care.

 

"What about school. What school did you attend?" the teacher inquired, clearly wanting to know the answer.

 

"Was? Oh! Um, Erzbischöfliche Liebfrauenschule Bonn."

 

The brunette looked at he analogue clock they had on the wall and groaned when he saw the time. "Nun konn endlich." He said, clearly directed at the blonde. He just wanted the lesson to continue but of course he couldn't have that.

 

The blonde smirked as he replied with a "Warum?" causing the brunette to groan loudly.

 

"Dipper!" Although the teacher had no idea what they were discussing, groaning was rude and she wouldn't allow it. She dismissed Bill to go to an empty seat of his choosing, and, without even thinking, he walked over to an empty seat next to Dipper and sat down. The brunette just hoped he wouldn't try to initiate a conversation as he'd very much prefer to focus on his work, although he'd only be reading. 

 

Around fifty minutes later, the bell for recess rang, causing the students to rush out and get in their friend groups, but not Bill. No, he had fallen asleep on his desk and was apparently a heavy sleeper as the bell didn't wake him. Dipper sighed, before making attempts to wake up the German. He received a few grumbles from the blonde and even a feeble attempt at a hit. The brunette looked up to the teacher who was getting ready to go on duty but still had to finish typing. Dipper figured that if she wasn't doing anything to help wake the blonde then maybe, just maybe, he could stay in the classroom. He got back to his seat and picked up his book, staring at the teacher to make sure she didn't catch him, although she would have noticed that he had given up and that he hadn't left, since her desk was near the way out.

 

"C'mon Dipper, out you go." that elicited a sigh from the brunette as he stood up. Dipper grabbed onto Bill's arm and began to drag him out of the class. That woke the tired German as he began to freak out.

 

"Lass mich los! Lass mich los!" he began to struggle against the brunette.

 

Dipper immediately let go and stepped back, hands up. "Woah woah woah, calm down man." He watched as the blonde quickly rose to his feet and into a fighting stance, just about ready to beat someone to death until he realised it was just Dipper.

 

The blonde sighed and lowered his arms. "Sie haben Glück." He stated as he began to move closer to Dipper.

 

"Out you go!" The teacher raised her voice and made a shooing motion.

 

Dipper grabbed Bill's wrist and said, "Folgen auf" as he pulled the blonde out of the classroom. He wondered why the German came to America if he either, can't speak English, or can't speak good English. He made a mental note to ask later. "Can you understand me?" he inquired, as if talking to an alien.

 

The blonde thought over his words, trying to make sure they were the right ones. "Small bit." He responded after being as sure as he could be.

 

Dipper sighed and shook his head. "You need to learn and I have a feeling I'll be the one to teach you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the school I mentioned is a roman catholic school if I remember correctly, part of the reason why Bill's in America with little to no knowledge of the English language  
> because he's gay  
> and his parents a huge homophobes


	3. short, short story in German

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill wakes up and something, I think he was sick or something

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please excuse my german, this was made using google translate because I can't actually speak german  
> please please please correct my german and tell me if something doesn't make sense
> 
> I would be glad to learn some proper german

Der blonde stöhnte, als er zum fünften Mal in dieser Nacht rollte.

 

"ugh.. Scheiße" Er murmelte unter seinem Atem, als sich seine Augen öffneten.

 

Langsam setzte er sich auf und untersuchte sein Zimmer und bemerkte nichts. Seine Kehle war wund und er hatte keine Ahnung, wie man es beheben konnte. "Warum..?" Er flüsterte mit den Fingern etwas über den Hals.

 

Er fiel zurück zu seinem Bett, als er an die Decke starrte. "Gute Nacht"


End file.
